Wagsmore's Reading Corner -Mark Twain

Excerpt from "Following the Equator"

By Mark Twain, 1897

In the train, during a part of the return journey from Baroda, we had the company of a gentleman who had with him a remarkable looking dog. I had not seen one of its kind before, as far as I could remember. Though, of course, I might have seen one and not noticed it, for I am acquainted not with dogs, but only with cats. This dogs coat was smooth and shiny black, and I think it had tan trimmings around the edges of the dog, and perhaps underneath. It was a long, low dog, with very short, strange legs - legs that curve inboard, something like parentheses turned the wrong way. Indeed, it seemed to be satisfied, but I thought the plan poor, and structurally weak, on account of the distance between the forward supports and those abaft. With age the dog's back was likely to sag; and it seemed to me that it would have been a stronger and more practical dog if it had some more legs. It had not begun to sag yet, but the shape of the showed that the undue weight imposed upon them was beginning to tell. It had a long nose, and floppy ears that hung down, and a resigned expression of countenance. I did not like to ask what kind of dog it was, or how it became deformed, for it was plain that the gentleman was very fond of it, and naturally he could be sensitive about it. From delicacy I thought it best not to seem to notice it too much. No doubt a man with a dog like that feels just as a person does who has a child who is out of true. The gentleman was not merely fond of the dog, he was also proud of it - just the same, again as a mother feels about her child when it is an idiot. I could see that he was proud of it, not withstanding it was such a long dog and looked so resigned and pious. It had been all over the world with him, and had been pilgrimaging like that for years and years. It had traveled fifty thousand miles by sea and rail, and had ridden on front of him on horse eight thousand. It had a silver medal from the Geographical Society of Great Britain for its travels, and I saw it. It had won prizes in dog shows, both in India and in England - I saw them.

He said that its pedigree was on record at the Kennel Club, and that it was a well known dog. He said that a great many people in London could recognize it the moment they saw it. I did not say anything, but I did not think it strange. I should know that dog, again, myself, yet I am careful about not noticing dogs. He said that when he walked along in London, people often stopped and looked at the dog. Of course, I did not say anything, for I did not want to hurt his feelings, but I could have explained to him that if you take a great long, low, dog like that and waddle it along the street anywhere in the world and not charge anything, people will stop and look. He was gratified because the dog took prizes. But that was nothing, If I were built like that, I could take prizes myself. I wished I knew what kind of dog it was, and what it was for, but I could not very well ask, for that would show I did not know. Not that I want a dog like that, but only to know the secret of its birth.

I think that he was going to hunt elephants with it, because I know, from remarks dropped by him that he hunted large game in India and Africa, and likes it. But I think that if he tries to hunt elephants with it, he is going to be disappointed. I do not believe that it is suited for elephants. It lacks energy, it lacks force of character, it lacks bitterness. These things all show in its meekness and resignation of its expression. It would not attack an elephant, I'm sure of it. It might not run if it saw one coming, but it looked to me like a dog that would sit down and pray.

I wish he had told me what breed it was, if there were others, but I shall know the dog the next time, and then if I can bring myself to it, I will put delicacy aside and ask.

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Updated February 1998